Coxswain-ing with an audience

I would never ask a boyfriend to watch one of my races. I would never ask them to hang out with crew people, or help me focus on racing. I'm never a fun person to be around during racing seasons, unless you happen to be a rower. I take these precautions knowing full well that if I ever did ask someone to "watch me," it would probably be the most boring thing ever.

I expect the same in return.

Having things in common with your significant other is a major component of a relationship, but so is tolerance and understanding. I don't feel guilty at all for excluding certain people in certain areas of my life. Nor do I feel it necessary to be involved in every aspect of my boyfriend's life. I especially don't need an apology for it.

Watching your bf play a solo video game for 3 hours doesn't make you a good girlfriend, and any guy who thinks you enjoy watching him press buttons (in my opinion) is mistaken. This all boils down to knowing who you're with and balancing your common interests with your tolerance of uncommon ones.

I've had guys ask me to watch them play Cricket/sit on the bench, to watch them at dance practice, to go to classes that I'm not enrolled in, to watch them drink and drink and drink so I can DD, all just because they want me around. Do all of these activities need an audience? And is it even considerate? I would equate each of these to watching me run on the treadmill, or watching me yell at people on the erg. It's not engaging, it's not something we can do together. I can support you in many different ways, and getting my bored out of my mind isn't one of them.

I'm proposing a form of separate togetherness. We're together when we want to be and apart when we want to be. It's a very grown up approach and I know some girls/guys don't find it appealing. So, instead of being defined by your relationship, it is merely a component of yourself in addition to other things. You're not my everything, but still a very big thing.

Please don't assume that I don't care about what you do, or how you choose to spend your time. I won't judge and being alone isn't so bad, in small doses.... Call me when you're done.