Chapter 1: Studying for the Permit

Get lucky in the Game of Life...
In the Game of Life (Here's to you, Milton-Bradley), everyone has a car, and you are a blue or pink little peg. The Objective is to navigate your car adding more blue and pink pegs, and occasionally getting paid. Thus the analogy of this entire blog. I did question why there weren't little cards with spouses. You could pick you job, salary, house, stock, but partner? Isn't that a big deal in the game of Life? Everyone is supposed to get married, right? After all, there is a stop sign. There are only about twenty spaces between graduating college and getting married. Afterwards, there are definitely over 200 between then and retirement. That's an interesting proportion while you're driving in your little orange station wagon for six.



I didn't end up getting my license until I turned 19, but I've been completely hung up on dating since the Little Mermaid. I find that there are certain parallels between driving and dating and consequently, the maturity levels that go along with each. Driving is a privilege granted on those who can study, test, and demonstrate being adequate enough to operate a vehicle. You have to be of age, have good eyesight, be mindful of other drivers, etc. There is no such criteria in order to date. Dating is a one-on-one action where you find someone who you can connect with, on multiple levels preferably. As time progresses, you can determine compatibility, long-term ability, whether or not you can live with/out each other. You can figure this out in minutes, or it may takes months or years. Simple.

You can't say you're an expert in relationships or you are the best relationship person of all time. Though Driving and Dating are both subjective, only driving can be objectively tested. You could be driving for years and still suck at it. You could date for years and still suck at it.

When I first started dating, or at least moved on from junior high boyfriends who would call you to talk about absolutely nothing, I didn't quite know what to expect. I had seen my older siblings "date", but it didn't help at all in my own debacles. They don't give you a book for this stuff*. If they did, I'd be too cynical to pick it up.

I do believe there is a steep learning curve during this period of dating. Just like learning to drive, you know the rules in your head, but following through with them is a completely different story. You're left questioning and analyzing, when in reality, you're not ready to handle dating. No one is ever really ready to handle dating. Like driving, you learn by doing, learn from your mistakes, and it is a true trial by fire.



*Footnote: Internet dating sites are like answer keys- they give you what is supposed to be the answer, but they never tell you how they got it.