Monday, July 19, 2010

Do I even have to say it?

Reasons you'll NEVER get along with your EX

In honor of Get over your Ex week, I thought it would be fun to try this experiment. Call it a Relationship Exorcism. Women often believe that relationships happen for a reason and in turn, shape us into who we are today. We always "learn something". I often think that I'm the one who actually teaches the lesson in my ex-relationships, but I'll bite on this one and see what happens.


1) Thank you Certain High School boyfriends for showing me that I do not want to be a military wife and that taking a back seat to someone else's ambitions is not the way to go. I'm already smarter than you, so what makes you think that you'd be the breadwinner? I do hope you enjoy your current wives/fiancees and hope they are every bit what you hoped for.

2) Thank you Woodberry guys for showing me how awesome a gentlemen could be, then showing how much they want in return. Let's just call it "mutual mixer arm candy". Guess it was just lucky that we actually all got along as well. You're everything a boarding school girl could ask for, on the weekends of course...

3) Thank you Eric for being a great guy, for sticking it out as long as you did, long-distance and even longer distance, three times just to make sure. I think we were both what we needed at those certain times. But when all is said and done, you'll always be my high school sweetheart, and I'll always remember you that way.

4) Thank you to my one true Asian BF, who definitely didn't know what he was in for when he started dating me. That relationship taught me how mean I could get, and how much I didn't want to be that way. That although I am a coxswain, I shouldn't be one ALL of the time...

5) To my Delicate Situation, thank you for making me realize that you can't make someone be in a relationship if they don't want to fully be in a relationship. I shouldn't have to settle for someone who only wants to be with me half of the time. Although, I'm much more of a Bad-Ass gunslinger because of it.

6) To my Jews, thank you for showing me that if it's meant to be, it will be. And since it's not, I can move on. Shabbat Shalom!

7) Thank you SuperDave. A relationship is not a power struggle. Love is not a game, and if you're playing it, then it's definitely not love. I've also learned how to sleep alone...

8) Albert (a name which you have tainted)- You are the biggest pussy I've ever met. Thanks to you, I now know that I should never date a whiny bitch. I should also never date someone I'm not attracted to, or try to make it work when you fight every other day. You're creepy, clingy and the biggest waste of time I've ever encountered.


There are a number of un-special people I'm sure I can thank as well; but this at least covered all the people I've officially dated and/or have spent the majority of a year with. Lets physically and emotionally remove ourselves from the situation. In hindsight, am I a better person post-relationship? Yes, but I was always the better person...

Have I changed for better? Yes, the relationship failures have caused me to be very picky and think very highly of myself. I am a coxswain after all.

Am I happy now? Absolutely.




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