A Thursday Post

Most of what I write about is cathartic. Hopefully, whatever comes out is some form of analysis on what I've read, how I feel about it, what I've taken from it, and how I want to apply it. But, sometimes I get kinda down, and go to a darker place.

I used to come from a place of sadness, dwelling on things I should've done, things I should've said. But yesterday, it was a place of anger; really angry anger. Like go-see-a-therapist anger.

I don't want to rant on this blog, because that's not the point. The more I let it stew, the more I want to burn some bridges, and that's not being a better person.

Anger Management

I can't say I've let every bad thing from my past go. I have a really good memory, and sadly, it's not to good at forgetting details. Little details. Little irritating, use-me-for-ammo details.

These little details can be haunting, and over time, I feel like I've gotten to be a harder person. A less patient person, a less trusting person.

So before things get worse, and they can, I need to get myself out of it; out of the funk that seems to be settled in over the past week.


I think the prescription (besides more cowbell) is actually taking the time to find the balance of lightness and productivity. To feel like I'm actually doing something with my time, something significant, without feeling overwhelmed and mediocre.

The Lightness of Being

Heaviness, in most forms, isn't agreeable to me. That groggy, waste-of-space feeling that just drains you, even though you haven't actually done anything physically taxing. I get that feeling when I sleep too much.

So what does one do to be lighter, mentally and emotionally? Forgive and forget.
The forgiveness isn't a formal apology to another person, but coming to terms with it yourself. I don't expect an apology from a family member about something shitty that happened a million years ago. But, I can actively let go of it. Which leads me to rule that I have made for myself:

If I feel that I have been wronged, or if something is unusually irritating, I have exactly one month to do something about it. One month to take action or obsess or analyze, to do/say something or decide not. After one month, the incident is null and void, and shouldn't be brought up again. Officially get over it, or hold your peace.

That covers the forgiveness, at least on my end, for my own emotional health. And for the forgetting? A purge, literally and figuratively.

Get rid of baggage. This weekend is now a Spring Clean weekend. Open your windows, throw away everything has been building up over the last couple weeks, months, years… Clean out your closet so you can fill it with new things, better things, more supportive things, figuratively of course.

Spring is March 20th!