The Strong, Complicated Woman

As a teenager, I prided myself on being well-rounded. I was not perfect, but close. I was not popular, or "experienced" or tough as nails, at least for the first years of high school. I had a complicated childhood but still had a love for family and friends. As much as I wanted to be an adult, I still appreciated being young. 

After watching an episode of Girls, a show that I kinda feel pressured into watching, I starting thinking about the multi-layered, multi-dimensional, strong, complicated woman. The characters in Girls all make rookie mistakes that I knew not to make. They have character flaws that I worked my way out of at an earlier time. Sometimes I wonder why I watch, because I don't connect with the characters on any level. I admit to being beyond judgmental in this case. 

They all face challenges that every girl will eventually find herself in:

• Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back 
• Being with someone who loves you, but you don't love them back
• Feeling caught between what's a bad decision and what would make a good story
• Going along with a unorthodox idea that you're not exactly comfortable with, but you don't want to seem like a square
• Being out of control of your own destiny
• Feeling like your life will never actually start
• Facing what you thought was the past and realizing the reality

Do women need this complicated web of mistakes and drama to make ourselves feel stronger? Do we use the mishaps and bad judgement calls as a form of justification? Do we need to overcome something, in order to feel competent?

I start thinking about my friends and all the mistakes we've made in life thus far. Should I pity those decisions, or have we actually learned from them, making those mistakes a stepping stone to where we are now? 

I am immediately brought to the notion of women being creatures of mystery. I read that every women should have a couple stories that she can tell her grandkids; stories of spontaneity, recklessness and romance. When I think of a strong, complicated woman, I imagine someone confident, intelligent, someone with an intense imagination, style and passion. Someone who is deep, charismatic. 

Is this a new female archetype, and who would be the ideal "SCW"? Hillary Clinton? Coco Chanel? Someone who can be a beautiful femme fatale ball buster, yet has a passionate wild side from her flawed past? Yet, wouldn't this idealized figure have the confidence to see past the drama? 

I also don't buy the whole career vs. love life conflict. I don't believe that you have to give up being serious about a career when you're in a relationship, or vice versa. I think that's another layer of complicated-ness that doesn't have to be there.

I don't think I'm particularly complicated. I'm fairly low maintenance (which all girls for the most part claim to be). I've gotten into heated fights and bad relationships, breakdowns and epiphanies. Can things get complicated? Yes, but most things are to begin with.