So, when a coxswain makes mistakes, in boat and in life, it's hard to believe they didn't see it coming. Or at least it is for me and my mistakes.
On my flight home from Vegas, I was reading a short article on Diane von Furstenberg; a what-she-keeps-in-her-makeup-bag type of article. She said that fashion faux-pas, fleeting trends, and mistakes in our youth don't seem that bad later on down the road. We have what she said a "more distanced perspective."
More Distance: In Hindsight (Past)
More distance. A Wide Open Spaces outlook, perhaps. That is something that I admit I have been able to get over. I can't judge myself or other people by the past. I can't go around pondering hypotheticals. I can't be keeping score of the past and not expect it to tarnish my view of the future.
This makes me feel a little better, knowing that I can brush off all the drama from so long ago, or at least the little things that don't need obsessing over. Things that were once deep regrets, now are not.
More Distance: In Miles (People)
The idea of more distance is something that I am ultimately using to get over some relationships. Bad relationships, toxic friendships, and familial relations have been getting me down for quite some time. So I have literally put more distance between me and them. Going from "crew is a team sport" to sculling solo.
I have often entertained the thought of going on a solo vacation, putting more distance between me and everything else. Not exactly the safest way of doing things, but being alone certainly makes a difference.
I'm not saying running away from people is an answer. But putting yourself in a situation where you're not depending on people is. A situation where things aren't reactionary. I have a great respect for people who can function on their own. Those who can go to a movie or eat dinner or enjoy a drink alone.
When we can see ourselves without people, I think we hold a greater appreciation for ourselves, and in turn, a greater appreciation for meaningful relationships. Using distance to make us closer...
More Distance: In Third-person Omniscient (Self)
I have rarely spent enough time alone with myself to really focus on purpose, without feeling trapped in my head. Something I use when navigating my life is the concept of being a third-person omniscient, a narrator. We've often heard the "If your life were a movie" scenario. If your life was a movie, and you were the main character, what would the plot be?
Having a narrator floating overhead, with built-in walking music as well, does give me a bit more confidence, like I have control over my life. Overall, I really like where this is going. In addition, I also think this helps in becoming more present in your life. You're calling the shots and making your own experiences.
More Distance: In Sight (Future)
If we can look back on our experiences and realize that they're not so bad and we can survive, why don't we take a side of perspective with our future?
If we/they always say, "Someday we'll look back on all of this and laugh", then why do we still have apprehensions about the future? If mistakes are so laughable with time, then why are we so afraid to make them?
Perhaps that is a new "more distanced perspective" that is worth adopting in the long run.
From someone who has a ton a distance, accumulated in SkyMiles of course, distance has become a good friend of mine, and is often the answer to many of my problems in some form.
Don't lose focus on the big picture. Someday we'll get old and maybe lost our sight. But, that's not as bad as losing our Vision.
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