The Girl Next Door

Call me crazy, but I think TV programming has "themes" from week to week. This past week was Authenticity. Are you being your true self, or are you playing up to what you think others want to see?

We all have the capacity to be anything. We can run the gamut of emotions and attributes, turning them on and off depending on the the situation we are in, or people we are/aren't with.

When it comes to relationships, I always wanted to be the Girl Next Door: the girl across the street who was your best friend, sensible, comfortable, and one day, you realize that she is the girl of your dreams.

I don't think I ever got to be that girl. In moving so much during school, I realized that I could never be in one place long enough to cultivate those long-term relationships. Instead, I was the Teacher's pet/ Goody two-shoes, a term I absolutely hated. Later, I was the smart, quiet choirgirl who you never give a second thought to. Then, the Girl that would eventually break your heart because she was too good for you (according to several mothers). The Little sister, the Team mom, the A-girl (which isn't that much better than being a B, C or D-girl), and the Coxswain. 


All of these roles definitely have their own personality traits. You can see them in costume as soon as I mention them. They're like my personal army, ready to take shape in any given situation. So, I never got to be someone's Girl Next Door. But, I can take those qualities and be my own Patti Webb, someone authentic that doesn't quite have a category, but yet is a mix of all of them. And better yet, this authentic self doesn't need to define herself through her relationships. 


These archetypes are roles we put ourselves in everyday, but none are really a true fit. We are not one color, but many shades of many colors. No better time to watch The Breakfast Club, I'd say.

I think that to be authentic, to be comfortable in your own skin and present that skin to others, comes down to two things: embracing flaws and being appreciative of differences. We don't all fit in personality boxes, and it's difficult enough figuring out what you want if you don't know who you are.